Photo by Ed Brambley via Flickr under a CC-BY license.

Here is the press release for an important initiative that came out of our INEB meeting in Malaysia two weeks ago. The meeting itself had an ongoing focus on interfaith relations, particularly between Buddhists and Muslims in South and Southeast Asia. We read about tensions between these communities in Burma/Myanmar, but issues are also at a flashpoint in Southern Thailand, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, and Indonesia.

The challenge of organizing and staffing a truly open fact-finding commission is not going to be a simple or easy matter. INEB and JUST, the sponsoring organizations, take this responsibility seriously, knowing that the well-being of our friends and allies inside Myanmar are at stake.

If you have further questions, please direct them either to me or to the INEB office at the footer of this page. As this initiative takes shape, I will provide further information.

Peace,

Hozan Alan Senauke
Joint Press Release
International Network of Engaged Buddhists (INEB)
International Movement for a Just World (JUST)
November 20, 2013

Towards the Creation of a Fact-Finding Commission
on Relations Between Buddhists and Muslims in Myanmar

The International Network of Engaged Buddhists (INEB) concluded its biennial conference on November 4 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, our first such meeting in a Muslim-majority nation. The conference theme — Inter-Faith Dialogue for Peace and Sustainability — points to the interdependence of Buddhists and Muslims throughout Southeast Asia. A long history of harmonious relations across all the nations of this region has been challenged in recent years by inter-religious conflicts rooted in a complexity of economic, political, social, and cultural tensions. INEB’s mission is to respect the integrity of all religions and people, restoring harmony wherever possible.

A significant outcome of this unique gathering was the affirmation of the establishment of an international forum for Buddhist-Muslim relations, drawing from members of INEB and Malaysia-based International Movement for a Just World (JUST).

At the close of the conference, a special session brought together Buddhist monks and laypeople, Muslims, and concerned friends from inside and outside Myanmar to consider conflicts and violence that have taken place inside that country over the last two years. Participants in this session, including people of four religions and from interfaith partners inside Myanmar, called upon this interfaith forum to establish a fact-finding commission to examine relations between Buddhists and Muslims in Myanmar.

Collaborating with local civil-society bodies inside Myanmar, this fact-finding commission would have three objectives:

1. to bring forth the facts of Buddhist-Muslim conflict in Myanmar;
2. to ascertain the causes of this conflict;
3. to develop resources and proposals for the establishment of inter-religious peace and harmony in Myanmar.

Guided by these objectives, an open-minded interfaith group will research conditions inside Myanmar and offer advice and support for the restoration of inter-religious and inter-ethnic stability. Members of INEB see this work as the embodiment of our vision of peace and sustainability across the region and among all peoples.

INTERNATIONAL NETWORK OF ENGAGED BUDDHISTS (INEB)
INEB Secretariat Office
666 Charoennakorn Road, Klongsan,

Bangkok 10600 SIAM (Thailand)
Tel. (+66) 081 803 6442
secretariat@inebnetwork.org
www.inebnetwork.org

This post was originally posted to Hozan’s Clear View Blog.

The post A Fact-Finding Commission — Buddhists and Muslims in Myanmar appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Over the past several years when discussing some of the scandals that have come to light in the North American Zen community, you may have seen various writers make reference to a 1999 dissertation by the late Caryl Reimer Gopfert titled “Student Experiences of Betrayal in the Zen Buddhist Teacher/Student Relationship.” Caryl wrote the dissertation while a student at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California. In it she writes of her own experiences and interviews 8 others.

Previously, this 450 page dissertation was only available as a PDF download for a fee through a dissertation service, but it now available in its entirety at the Shimano Archive with the blessing of Caryl’s family.

Names of teachers and students have been redacted in the original work, though the Shimano Archive (which continues adding new documents) has provided an excerpt in which Shimano is identified.

I’d like to encourage everyone to download the PDF of the full dissertation and read it at your own leisure, as it’s a fascinating read and also as timely as the day it was first published. While it has been available at other sites for some time for free download, the Shimano Archive and Sweeping Zen did not wish to point people to it until the family provided its blessing.

FULL DISSERTATION

EIDO SHIMANO EXCERPT

Photo by Sharon Hoffman.

The post Student Experiences of Betrayal in the Zen Buddhist Teacher/Student Relationship now free online appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Zenrin R. Lewis

Eido Tai Shimano, the former Abbot of Zen Studies Society who retired amid sexual scandal, is continuing to teach in the United States and overseas. This past November, at a location referred to as “hidden” Zendo, Shimano held sesshin and gave dharma transmission to Zenrin R. Lewis of The Jacksonville Zen Sangha in Florida (also performing one jukai ceremony during the retreat).

The move caused a ruckus of sorts over at the American Zen Teachers Association (AZTA) after, resulting in Genjo Marinello removing Zenrin’s temple from their list of centers. On the removal, Genjo Osho stated (in a leaked email from the AZTA):

Eido Shimano agrees that a Zen teacher should not be sexual with students; however, this has never stopped him from being a pathological liar and sexual predator of his own sangha. Zenrin accepts that Eido Shimano has done the best he can and supports his continued teaching and actively continues to train with him.

I don’t care if Zenrin is a member of AZTA or not, we have no way to say if a member is in good standing or not. Nevertheless, I am in charge making additions and changes to the AZTA database, and I will not tolerate any longer the use of our database to refer people to a teacher and organization that continues to train with Eido Shimano. So hearing no objection I have deleted his listing from our public database.

If there is a vote to return him to our database, I will not implement it; however, I will resign from this organization and someone else may then restore it.

Genjo’s announcement prompted the following response by Rev. Nonin Chowaney of the Nebraska Zen Center:

This is unacceptable conduct. Genjo was not given the power to delete members from our list, so he has self-righteously overstepped his bounds. Can someone agree to take over our database, and if Genjo resigns from AZTA, that would be fine with me.

One could sympathize with the position held by both men in this exchange, one worried about sending people to a center so closely affiliated with Shimano (who the late Robert Aitken once referred to as “a crook”) and the other concerned about standing AZTA members having their listing removed without a formal process.

The case raises an interesting dilemma for the AZTA. The association presents itself on its website as a peer group, providing “an opportunity for expanded peer contacts and exchanges.” There is a membership committee in place for admitting individuals in to its membership, but there appears to be no mechanism in place for one’s removal — this due to the nature of the association itself (considering applicants based on their credentials alone). This results in what appears to be a lifetime membership. In all fairness, that process is under consideration (a process for grounds for removal).

At best, in this respect, when one sees that a Zen teacher is a member of the AZTA on their respective websites, it means that they have been recognized by their peers as another Zen teacher based on their credentials. Nothing more, nothing less. The membership appears unconcerned with matters of ethical breaches (as a body), with questions for prospective applicants revolving around matters of authorizations, length of time teaching, and length of time training. There are no questions regarding ethical issues, as there is no ethical statement on behalf of the AZTA itself.

As always, I’m afraid, it is “buyer beware” when entering the practice in a North American Zen center. Based on comments that have come in here at the website and elsewhere on the web, there are some individuals out there wholly willing to continue their practice with someone lax in their ethical judgment (Shimano being a more pronounced example of this).

As of today, there are no standardized ethical guidelines for American Zen teachers. Some centers have their own guidelines, with some being stronger than others. Burden therefore rests on the backs of those entering the practice to gauge the conduct of a prospective teacher. While taking responsibility for ourselves in this fashion is a good thing, and while we should be doing this with or without ethical guidelines or oversight in place, it is disconcerting that we ask those entering the practice, often at very difficult points in their own life, to be in a place where they are even interested in asking these very important questions.

We also have a situation here where individuals who might find more appropriate help in a mental health setting come knocking at the door of a center, instead. In some of these ethical breaches like that involving Shimano, it is alleged, these same people were those most vulnerable to his advances.

There are folks from both camps in this conversation regarding more standardized ethics for Zen teachers — those in favor, and those opposed, concerned that oversight would be heavy-handed. In my opinion, since there is this divide, the question for all of these practitioners might be, “Which option would result in the least harm?”

The post Eido Shimano names new dharma successor with fallout at AZTA appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Recently Mark Oppenheimer published an e-book: The Zen Predator of the Upper East Side about the Zen teacher Eido Shimano and his participation through the Zen Studies Society (ZSS) in establishing Zen in New York—a spiritual practice that included his justifying sexual relations with his female students. Mr. Oppenheimer has spent considerable time researching this book: time interviewing and meditating with Eido Shimano, interviewing members and leadership of the Zen Studies Society and interviewing women who had participated in sex with Shimano.  The net result of his research resulted in the title naming Shimano as “Zen Predator.” This subject is alive and vital since Shimano continues to teach and just named a Dharma heir who presumably supports his own teacher Eido Shimano.

Oppenheimer editorialized on his interviews with all concerned, and the e-book is well worth reading for Zen students and social scientists on the effects of rigorous spiritual discipline, residential living, idealization of a leader and the resulting effects of group or cult dynamics. Following up on this e-book, Jay Michelson reviewed Oppenheimer’s book and posited an explanation of some of Shimano’s harms based on “cultural differences,” between Japan and the West.  Michaelson suggested “cultural differences” as one of the factors to which Oppenheimer may have given insufficient attention.  I liked Michaelson’s review, particularly where he supported Oppenheimer’s finding that Shimano and his sangha covered up what had happened including the women’s complaints and the sangha protests for the sake of the continuation of ZSS. This is the painful and disturbing core at the heart of the cover up— the ZSS community (both the Board of Directors and the leadership) and other Zen teachers believed that the cover-up was necessary to support ZSS and the unfolding of Zen in the West. For the past 2500 years, Buddhaharma has continued on its inherent integrity and its development of mature teachers. It has not survived because of corruption and cover-ups, but it has survived despite them.

Having practiced Zen in Japan both in Rinzai and Soto traditions, I do agree that there are some cultural differences between how Zen is practiced in the two settings. I do not agree that the cultural differences would apply to a teacher’s sexual exploitation of male or female students in situations where students and sangha exhort leadership to acknowledge the harm caused and remedy the situation.  I cannot support the idea that the community or the ZSS misperceived Shimano’s sexually predatory behavior due to “cultural differences” for several reasons: the amount of time Shimano lived in the West, the amount of information he received from the women who were harmed, and the male culture of sexual privilege that does not differ between Japan and the West.

Shimano from the beginning of his involvement with Aitken Roshi’s sangha (1960’s) was told that his sexual behavior was harmful to women practitioners. After being told about the results of his sexual predation early on, and then repeatedly engaging in the same sexually predatory behaviors, and after living in the United States for decades, we cannot say that Shimano was living by some imagined Japanese standard that approved of him harming students in this way.

Having been a first-hand listener to adult women describing their protests and their weeping through Shimano’s sexual coercion during this so-called consensual sex, I believe that cultural differences cannot account for his sexual coercion, his alleged predation on the vulnerable, and his seemingly voracious sexual appetite. Sexual coercion, date rape and rape are on a continuum. This is an expression of pathology, and so is sexual addiction.

When this behavior is repeated many times with women in a more vulnerable position within the sangha, and when Shimano was told repeatedly of the harm he had caused, I believe it more realistic to consider this behavior as predatory and disturbed rather than culturally inappropriate.

Furthermore, both Japanese men in power and Western men in power tend to indulge in sexual encounters with subordinates as part of their privileged position. Whether they are US President, congressman, or business man, or spiritual teacher or minister, sexual liaisons seem to be included in male privilege all over the world. Sadly, repeatedly acting out sexual affairs with subordinates is not seen as sexual addiction, but as a preference or privilege. Recognizing and admitting a sexual addiction could allow treatment for the addict.

My experience in conversations with Japanese people is that sexual behavior is not seen as shameful and is not as secret as it is to Westerners. Sexual mores for Zen priests, even so-called celibate monks, varies from temple to temple. Historically, the geisha district of the Gion was built to provide womanly pleasures to the Kyoto monks. The secret about Shimano’s sexual predation and harm to his students, in the opinion of Mark Oppenheimer, Jay Michelson and myself, was not hidden due to Japanese behavioral norms of privacy, but were alleged to be part of a need to protect and continue an organization (ZSS) that allowed Shimano to continue harming people rather than fulfill its Bodhisattva vow to work to free all beings from suffering.

The post The Zen Predator of the Upper East Side (Grace Schireson on Mark Oppenheimer’s book) appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Kobutsu Malone

Following yesterday’s piece, some were understandably upset about an email leak from the AZTA which found its way to the Shimano Archive. Some teachers expressed their concern about what the effect such a thing will have on the association’s ability to communicate openly. I understand their concern, and would personally not have published the exchange at Sweeping Zen were someone to have approached me with it. So, the question is: why did I publish it using the archive as a source?

My simple answer is that it had already been in the public sphere since November. I wasn’t breaking news. I was reporting old news, catching up on a story I had missed with all the work on the documentary and some things happening in my personal life.

Obviously a story on Eido Shimano giving dharma transmission to someone after being asked not to teach ever again was highly newsworthy. As a side note to the topic at hand, I wonder: Would the AZTA accept Eido Shimano as a member today? If the answer is no, why would it recognize a transmission by him to someone new during a period when the consensus seems to be: you are unfit to teach.

While I am a Zen Buddhist (jukai) and have many friends in the American Zen community, it isn’t my job in this role to be everyone’s friend. As has happened in the past with other stories, I’ve received some feedback that suggests this is “tabloid journalism.” I don’t even remotely agree. Tabloid journalism would be my reporting having seen Zen master X leaving the mall with Zen master Z. Tabloid journalism would entail my reporting on who Zen master B is currently dating, or writing about an alien invasion at the AZTA. Sorry, but what is reported on here, while it does involve sex, is about people’s lives being torn apart.

While truth may be enticing, may be sensationalistic, brown is also brown. It’s real. If there was zero benefit from reporting something that is true to you, I’d understand someone criticizing Sweeping Zen as being like a tabloid. But this has never been about sensationalism. What the hell was sensationalistic about the depressing piece Giko David Rubin wrote on Sasaki? You think people here find this shit funny? You think this is some game to us? Get real.

Some have asked why I would use something like the Shimano Archive as a source, that it was unethical to use them as a source. Why is that? I respect the work Kobutsu Malone has done tremendously. Were it not for his work, a lot of my work would not even be possible. His resource is invaluable. Love him or hate him, he’s done so much for this community and received so little support for doing so. He doesn’t ask for it, actually. He simply publishes the truth, as uncomfortable as it is. I admire that tenacity in an individual. I don’t have his courage. I know for a fact that he isn’t interested in sensationalizing this story or others like it. For God’s sake, it is sensationalistic by default. It’s a given that it’s yucky to look at.

Here is a guy who can, as well as anyone, testify to the damage of Shimano and the culture that was in place at Zen Studies Society during his time there. Eido Shimano had a sexual relationship with his ex-wife, according to her own account – the mother of his children. His son was allegedly molested by another monk on the grounds at Dai Bosatsu. Is it personal for Kobutsu? I think it most certainly is. That’s reality. That’s the ugly truth of this stuff. If you want something that doesn’t stink like a tabloid, help us clean it up. Use your voice and stop trying to control perceptions. Don’t whisper about ethics and feign offense when the truth emerges. Be loud. Stand for something. Stop allowing lives to be destroyed under the guise of “Zen Buddhism.”

A leaked email is the least of the American Zen teacher community concerns.

The post On the topic of tabloids, leaks and journalism in American Zen appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Coming soon. You can help us build this lineage chart by adding names in the comments section of this page. Thank you!

The post Thich Nhat Hanh lineage appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

I have written before of Zen’s need to squarely face institutional inadequacies, but have I said enough about why I love Zen? I don’t love Zen for the robes and the folderol; I love it for where the rubber meets the road. Where one hand reaches out for another, and where one stands quietly witnessing a dear friend bravely bearing his suffering. My love came home to me when I went to view Myogen’s body on January 1^st at his home in the North Bay. I traveled 5 hours to see Myogen just after completing a five day retreat over New Year and stopping to celebrate the Mountain Seat Ceremony for Ed Brown. I was elated that so many Zen friends came in joyous support of Ed and his Peaceful Sea sangha. From one Dharma brother’s event to another, I drove on to experience Myogen’s recently deceased body. At Ed’s event, Wendy Johnson gave me soup and a note to transport to Lane, Myogen’s wife. Through the window, by candlelight, Myogen was laid out on a bed of flowers. The light was soft and welcoming, mirroring his spirit. I am not sure if I would have recognized him, his large frame had shrunk, his face was small, and his smile different– more subtle and less beaming.

While I walked around to study all that was there with Myogen’s body, I reviewed my practice life with Myogen. The way we had sat sesshin together at Berkeley Zen Center more than twenty years ago, his presence at my own priest ordination, his support for his students and my students, his support for me, his appreciation of my support for his students, our teaching side by side, and finally his devastating email revealing his diagnosis. His illness had shocked all of us (he was the healthy one), and it urgently pushed him towards his own practice. When visiting I found notes to remind him posted on his easy chair: I am of the nature of sickness, I am of the nature of old age, I am of the nature of death. Zen was alive and well in Myogen’s home. This is why I love Zen.

I didn’t know what to say in response to his email foretelling his imminent death. Like many others, I offered support and a request to visit. I am sure there were many such requests as we faced his dwindling days. And when I reiterated my request to his assistant, I was told there was a long list. Facing my disappointment squarely, I said good-bye and sent a gift. Thus I was taught in Zen, by my Japanese Zen teacher Fukushima Roshi: Generosity meant giving people actual gifts—giving more than just kindness and Dharma words. Fukushima Roshi explained that his own teacher, Shibayama Zenkei had taught him the importance of what could be passed hand to hand. Fukushima Roshi had given me his calligraphy, cookies, books, pottery, rakusu—but he gave all in passing. It was understated, all given as we said good-bye. So tenderly and indirectly given.

Remembering how affected I had been by this precious Zen teaching of giving; I considered a gift for Myogen. I ruled out just a card, chocolates or a book. It needed to be a direct taste of our mutual practice. Aah, Kyoto green tea! Gyokuro, an extravagant and naughtily delicious refreshment that we had enjoyed together on our teaching breaks during SPOT. Even the tea contained the tears of loss, and endurance. Sadly, our favorite tea company had lost its field after 130 years of growing Uji tea and selling it in Kyoto. After great effort, I found a tea contact I had met while practicing in Japan. Ten years ago, I had been to Daishoji, a Rinzai Imperial convent in Kyoto, and had met a woman there from a well-established Uji tea company.

With our new samples recently shipped from Japan in hand, Myogen, Lew Richmond, Angie Boissevain and I tasted the even more delicious, even naughtier and even more expensive teas I had requested from our new vendor. There was Muratake (Bamboo Forest), Momoe (One Hundred Blossoms), and there was Otowa (The Sound of Wings). Myogen alone and definitively chose “The Sound of Wings.”  Was it premonitory, did he hear and taste the “Sound of his own Wings?” Remembering his choice fluttered my heart. I labeled a bag of the “Sound of Wings,” and bowed with my silent good-by as it flew away from the Central Valley to the North Bay.

Back Row: Renshin Bunce, Myoan Grace Schireson.
Bottom Row: Christine Palmer, Myogen Steve Stücky

A week later my phone rang. It was Myogen. Ironically, he asked me if I had time to talk. Slightly breathless, I gathered my presence and affirmed that I had time to talk. He thanked me for the tea, and asked if I could help him with Christine Palmer’s Dharma Transmission. He struggled to find the words for what I might become to her. “She will be independent, a Dharma heir like you,” he said, “but still she will need… His words trailed off. Was it that he couldn’t bear losing Christine, not being her teacher? I supplied the word “consultant” to Myogen, but later, when Myogen brought up my ceremonial role as preceptor, Christine happily chirped: “Yes, Grace is my Auntie.” Another reason I love Zen, I get to be Christine’s Auntie.

Myogen and I spoke privately when I came for Christine’s ceremony, and he expressed his one remaining sadness—leaving his small grandchildren. I told him what my own grand-daughter had said to me several years before when she was just four-years-old. Standing in my kitchen while Olivia was drawing, and I was cooking she spoke up. “Grandma,” she said confidently, “you are going to die.” “Everyone dies,” she added with a proud and knowing certainty. I was quite interested in where this conversation was going. Lucky for Olivia, her grandma was a Zen person and had contemplated impermanence. Otherwise, her grandma might have been flustered into a heart attack, or at the very least, bothered into a sharp reprimand for Olivia’s impertinence.

“You are right, Olivia,” I responded. “What will we do about this?” She answered me with the same cool confidence with which she had pronounced the certainty of my death: “Even after you die grandma, we will still be together,” Olivia reassured me. Curious about her scheme and understanding about our relationship after my demise, I asked Olivia: “Do you think we will talk to each other after I die?” She pondered my question briefly before she replied comfortingly: “No grandma, but we will think of each other.” And that was that. Hearing Olivia’s pronouncements, Myogen smiled his big enveloping smile and said: “Out of the mouths of babes.” When leaving Myogen after Christine’s Dharma Transmission ceremony, I knew this would be our last meeting. I touched his sleeve and said “Don’t forget what Olivia said, we’ll be in touch.”

After this bounty of tender gifts– Myogen’s wisdom, our relationship, sharing tea, supporting each other, teaching together, and the beautiful ceremony for Christine—I thought that would be all there was between Myogen and me. And it was enough for me, and affirmed why I love Zen. I am not sure why I traveled those 5 hours to sit with Myogen’s deceased body.  But I have learned in Zen that actually doing something is always different than whatever you could think about doing something. Another reason that I love Zen; it guides my life. So I went in to be with Myogen, remembering what Olivia had taught me. But wait there’s more! To my surprise, on a separate table near the body was a small white sheet of paper labeled “Death Poem,” that looked just like this:

DEATH POEM

This human body truly is the entire cosmos
Each breath of mine, is equally one of yours, my darling
This tender abiding in “my” life
Is the fierce glowing fire of inner earth
Linking with all pre-phenomena
Flashing to the distant horizon
From “right here now” to “just this”
Now the horizon itself
Drops away—
Bodhi!
Svaha.

Myogen
12/27/13

Wow! Please, just take this in in; the poem was written only four days before his death. Myogen loved life, and he loved Zen. He went all the way to the edge to show us his view.

Photo by Renshin Bunce

Why I love Zen—let me count the ways. Because we are present for each other, because we look for, find and make meaning of our time together, because we have developed the presence to receive the message from our grand-daughter about our own certain death, because we tell each other when we are afraid, because we listen to each other’s fears, because we drink tea and hear “The Sound of (our own) Wings,” because we help each other celebrate ceremonies, ordinations, precepts, sesshin, Dharma Transmissions, Mountain Seats and funerals. Because we go to hospitals, prisons, schools and homeless shelters together. Because we grow food, cook food, and bring food to each other. Because we sew robes for each other, even if we only wear them for our own cremation.  Because we give each other our own death as a gift, as a poem, just as we have given our own life.

Myogen was authentically himself at the same time he was a Zen person all the way to the end. How well he studied the words, the deeds, the lives, the deaths of the Zen Masters. How well he knew to leave his close and personal view of death after he was gone. How well he loved Zen, and we shared that love– loving lives that embody Zen, loving a formal and personal departure, and loving the traditional writing of death poems.

Oh, and one more reason I love Zen, from Zen monk Senryu who died June 2, 1987:

Empty-handed I entered
the world
Barefoot I leave it.
My coming, my going –
Two simple happenings
That got entangled.

I love being entangled in Zen.

The post My Colleague Myogen Steve Stücky and Why I Love Zen appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

More laundry today, I’m afraid.

Last week, I started reaching out to some folks in Joshu Sasaki’s lineage to confirm some reports I’d been receiving about ongoing issues within the organization. These reports, in part, suggested that Joshu Sasaki has recently declared himself “Supreme Abbot” of the organization and is effectively still running Rinzai-ji. Seiju Bob Mammosser Osho — of the Albuquerque Zen Center — confirmed this for me, stating that Sasaki remains “firmly in charge” and has assumed another title. Readers of this website will know why this is of concern; if you’ve just discovered this story, however, you can start reading about it here and here and here. In summary, there is a well-documented history of serious ethical and sexual misconduct on the part of Sasaki, as well as a history of the Rinzai-ji community inadequately addressing those behaviors.

My source told me that Sasaki was trying to disrobe Hosen Christiane Ranger of her Osho status, further supporting the news that Sasaki is still in charge. The reason given by Sasaki appears, from the outside, to revolve around her having used the term kessei regarding a retreat offering. Apparently, within Rinzai-ji, use of certain terms by Oshos is prohibited when offering retreats at their respective centers.

Sasaki still has many supporters at Rinzai-ji, and there is a petition being sent around among that group demanding that Hosen comply with Sasaki’s orders — something which remains a question mark. The Bodhi Manda Zen Center Board, however, does not agree with Sasaki’s decision or the petition being circulated currently. “The relationship between a teacher and disciple cannot easily be assessed by a third party,” said Seiju. “With or without robes, I do not feel that it is appropriate that she be asked to leave Bodhi for the stated reasons. The Bodhi Board of Directors will support Hosen as she decides what to do.”

It should be noted that I tried to reach out to Hosen for comment but did not receive a reply. Seiju was able to confirm for me the veracity of the things I had been learning about, though he was reluctant to say too much:

“This is a very dynamic time for the Rinzai-ji sangha and I am reluctant to discuss details while everything is in flux. I’m not sure sharing information now is helpful for the Rinzai-ji sangha. The five points you mentioned in your email are generally correct, as I understand things. How the sangha responds to these developments is crucial, and my concern centers around the sangha stepping up and taking responsibility for their future. Others in Rinzai-ji may see things differently. For now I am reluctant to discuss these matters further. I trust you can understand my concern.”

Recently, I had also learned that Eshin Godfrey Osho, who became administrative Abbot of Rinzai-ji in March of 2013 (about four months before Sasaki officially stepped down), had resigned his position as Abbot in Los Angeles. He was supposed to have been taking over the organization to lead it in the aftermath of the public disclosures of abuse. When I contacted some members of the AZTA inquiring about it, they had not heard about it yet, though eventually I was pointed to a news item by Eshin at his website confirming this. Citing visa, health and marriage as primary reasons, Godfrey does not seem to indicate his resignation has anything to do with these other developments. I contacted Godfrey last week about this story, but he was attending a funeral for his sister in Europe at the time.

During all of this, I was curious to check in with An Olive Branch run by Rev. Kyoki Roberts, OPW, of the Zen Center of Pittsburgh.

According to its website, An Olive Branch aims for the following:

• To proactively address conflict, we offer dispute resolution training and help organization design ethical governance procedures.
• To respond in the midst of disruptive conflict, we provide organizations with processes for healing and restoring harmony.

“An Olive Branch brings the calming influence of a neutral third party, inspired by the tradition of Buddhist teaching that stretches over 2500 years.”

Rev. Roberts was unable to answer the majority of my questions for her, citing confidentiality. All that she did provide me with was a paragraph from her contract with Rinzai-ji, which states:

Scope of Work

The general purpose of this project is two-fold: first, and primarily, An Olive Branch will serve as first receivers of complaints from people who claim to have been harmed and, secondly, to advise the Bearing Witness Group and the subsequent Listening Council with regard to related issues or questions that may arise in the implementation of the project including responses to particular reporters’ requests.

It’s very difficult getting anyone to speak openly about Joshu Sasaki and the current activities of Rinzai-ji. Responses tend to be very short and public transparency is wholly lacking.

It must be hard for those who have practiced with Sasaki for all of these years to not merely be deferential and loyal to him. It reminds me of what happens when I try to focus on an object that is too close to me, becoming blurry and fuzzy. I have to take a step back and then I can actually see what I am looking at.

A part of me understands the human need to belong somewhere, to have a family. Another part of me wants to scream as I think of all the reports we published here at the website regarding the great harm this man has caused to some of the women who came to him for training, only to find inappropriate touching and unsolicited groping in the interview room. How is this Zen Buddhism or Great Compassion? I just shake my head anymore. It’s deeply sad to me that the organization appears unable to disaffiliate themselves with someone who has terribly misused their position as their spiritual head — though, maybe in time.

I remember talking last year to a woman who practices at Rinzai-ji and how she said that when she met Sasaki, she knew he could see right in to her. She was still on the fence about what everything means in light of all of the disclosures, though overall I think she still adored the man. I didn’t say it then, but I wanted to remark on how dangerous it is for us to believe someone sees in to us like that. Personally, I find it to be a projection. We all long to be known, to feel an intimacy with someone that goes beyond words. But what I saw in her eyes was dangerous, with a glowing hero worship look emanating from them. I got the feeling she revered him as one might revere a God, and remembered a man in a video on Sasaki (no longer on YouTube) who likened his coming to the United States to Bodhidharma’s famed sojourn.

I guess I missed the stories of Bodhidharma groping women, as Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka wrote about in her poem to Sasaki.

This is probably a good place to stop.

Based on reports I was able to confirm, Joshu Sasaki remains in charge of Rinzai-ji.

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Coming soon

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Coming soon.

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So I have been involved in some Zen teachers e-groups that talk about everything from congratulations to new teachers to why some new teachers are not allowed. As a new teacher it has been daunting and exciting to try to introduce myself into the culture both socially and spiritually. I have tried to ask questions about how things work, how certain issues get addressed, why some issues are not addressed, and offer observations about what aspects of the prevalent teachers culture is not working, and what seems to be working great.

After about 6 months to a year of these back and forths, my overriding take on this situation is that it is a very deep and mostly unconscious enabling environment.

Enabling is essentially a function of suffering. Without suffering, there is nothing to enable, and so it is a symbiotic relationship.

It is also largely a family dynamic in which there are black sheeps, good cops, bad cops, shining stars, etc, and as long as everyone plays their role correctly then everyone gets to continue the pattern, whatever it may be.

History

In the short history of Zen in America there are a few big names that have become infamous in the lineages I know about. Admittedly, I know very little about Zen in America in general, and so I will not even try to map out a list of teachers and their successors to show who was troubled and who was or is lacking in integrity. It’s not easy to get an authentic history for most teachers who came from other countries, particularly Japan.

It might be an interesting project for someone to map such a Zen family tree or perhaps it’s already done?

For this blog, I simply want to point out a pattern of teachers who were sent to America from Japan as Zen missionaries who had deep flaws that were not discussed openly, or supported effectively, to maintain integrity.

Suzuki was sent here after his wife was murdered by a crazy monk he allowed to live in his monastery in Japan. Sasaki was left here after he was expelled from Japan for creating a huge scandal in his home temple. Maezumi was sent here and, no one seems to know but, it has been felt that he may have been quite a rebel and perhaps sent here as an attempt to relocate him. Eido Shimano may have had trouble in Japan, but I don’t know of it. To my mind, this pattern of relocating monks who have caused trouble in Japan to America set the stage for a legacy of secrecy, covering up, forgetting, omitting, withholding, avoiding, and being defensive if questioned.

These patterns of behavior, mixed with a hierarchy that was strict and without accountability or tolerance for open questioning of authority, are a formula for a very dysfunctional spiritual path.

So the second generation of American students who trained with such teachers have had a great deal of secrecy, avoidance, withholding, and defensiveness around lack of integrity and the use or abuse of students.

So now we have an exponentially large pool of 3rd generation teachers who are starting to wake up out of what seems to be a multi-generational slumber and denial about the problems with much of the cornerstones of Zen training.

Lack of History

In a family dynamic of abuse, addiction, and enabling, it is almost impossible for the family members who are defensive and resistant to change to see their blind spots and the ways they contribute to the problems they decry.

It is easy to not see what is wrong with our pattern if we can’t look at where we have come from clearly. Those students who were trained by Sasaki did not even know he was a criminal who spent a year in prison in Japan for abusing money, power and sex.

So, how could they have known that they were inadvertently being trained to keep his secrets and make sure no one would ever find them out? They were all trained to enable him to do whatever he wanted, without being questioned or confronted. And if someone did confront him the entire sangha was trained to shun them, without really knowing what pattern of his they were enabling.

So in a large family, such as Zen is becoming with every new generation, it is a huge and widespread dynamic to open up to and see how deep it runs in our history. Very few really know how to do that kind of detective work since they have mostly been trained to enable silence and reject any exposure. And even if they do uncover the real stories, they don’t know what to do with such toxic information.

Zen training in America has largely been about learning not to look at the red flags, not to vocalize any fears about the red flags, and not to question those in power who tell you what it means to see clearly. So, when I try to bring up such deep thoughts about how things have gotten this way and how we might support each other in shifting our enabling training models, I mostly get ignored.

I know I’m hard to take in many ways, I’m often silly, arrogant, irritating, crazy, outspoken, and blunt. I don’t expect the Zen teachers culture to applaud me or laugh with me, but I do expect them to acknowledge that I am here too, and see that ignoring me when I suggest that we should reach out to those who might be vulnerable to an abusive teacher is an enabling part of the root problem. I expect them to answer my questions about why no one was told there were serious problems occurring until it was too late.

They continually congratulate each other for what they are doing and offer their condolences about how shitty it is and they say they are available for support. But they do not demand accountability and they do not offer practical solutions.

This is a generalization, of course, but I believe it is a fair one that captures the essence of the long standing culture of Zen in America which is still enabling bad things to happen to vulnerable people by not taking stronger stands for accountability and open communication, not to mention refining training standards to help ensure a safe transmission of the dharma that is strong enough to see through fear and anger, and the buddha’s honest truth when it is abusive and defensive.

Future

Zen has focused a lot on individual awakening and personal experience of true self, and this made sense in isolated communities or teacher-student relationships. But, now in a global marketplace, things have shifted in a way that needs group experiences of oneness and emptiness, collective awakenings.

Healing a family pattern of abuse and enabling means we all have to change. We all can see how our action, or inaction, contributes to the pain and patterns of the others.

We are no longer able to go somewhere else to work these issues out, because we are all here now. We should stick with it together — here, now — and wake up to the history of no history, and tell each other about each others blind spots so that we can all see more clearly through the eyes of our support systems.

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I stayed home in my pajamas this morning filling out forms. My daughter has decided to apply to private high schools and I’m only now realizing what that entails. Rather a lot of forms and questions and tests and interviews, many benefactors, and a slate of events rich with expectation and anxiety.

I support her in this effort unreservedly. After nine years as a precocious public school student, she makes her case convincingly.

“I need a teacher,” she says.

And it is true that since those sweet years in the lower grades when she positioned herself wide-eyed and smiling at the front of a room of darling children, she has been squashed and lost in a class of 41 high-testing kids on whom the burden of excellence is placed without concomitant resources: without time or attention; absent relationship; void of eye contact; empty of personal encouragement; and even shy of enough books, tables and chairs. Not every student appreciates a teacher in the same way, but my daughter says she does and so I stayed home in my pajamas today.

A teacher is important. A teacher is the most important thing of all. Go as far as you need to go to find a teacher. There is a teacher waiting for you.

It was near the end of his time at home, and my father-in-law was deep in dementia.

He would sit alone for hours in an empty room, and if you should enter quietly, he would make the kindest conversation.

“You look pretty today,” he said. He said this to all women.

“Did you come with that fellow?” he asked about the son whom he no longer recognized.

“Where did you find that girl?” he asked about his granddaughter. I answered simply, because I wasn’t here to remind him of anything. “She’s my daughter.”

“She looks very pretty today.”

He was quiet, then up from the vacancy came one last thing.

“I’ve been very lucky in my life. I’ve had many teachers,” he said, giving me another.

Granted, he didn’t look like much—a scrawny fellow, no taller than me, wearing mended clothes. You might suppose it is some grand philosophy that draws us to the spirit — a theory of the cosmos — but it is the feet, the hands, the eyes, this miserable scrap of human life. Luckily for those of us with a wayward sense of direction, a Zen retreat consists largely of following in the footsteps of the person who stands in front of you. I was mesmerized by Maezumi’s sure, elegant footfall. He moved, when he moved, like Kilimanjaro. I would have followed him anywhere. I guess you could say I did, although it led no farther than my own home. Once you realize you are lost, everything you see is a sign pointing home. — Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden, May 2014

Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden

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Happy New Year to you all.

Enjoying the break here – still! My day job is cancelled again today due to the “excessive” cold.

How cold? It was so cold yesterday that I didn’t take dog Bodhi for a walk.

That’s how cold it was. And now a heat wave. +4 at present.

Yesterday there were wind chills of more than -50 degrees (before the ’90′s it would have been in the -70′s). Or like we say in our understated Minnesotan way (hear this as in Fargo), “Gol darn-it anyway, it’s a bit cool out there.”

And speaking of cool. The fox above wasn’t drawn by me but by the five-year-old daughter of a Zen student.

And also speaking of cool, this post features a koan for you for a cold day or for any day in the shape-shifting wild-fox-swirl of the samsara-nirvana fractal. It’s from the wonderful, free and downloadable Collected Works of Korean Buddhism (click here), V. 7, Case 677:

Deshan was not well and a certain monk asked, “Is there someone who does not get sick or not?”

The master said, “There is.”

The monk said, “Who does not get sick?”

The master said, “Ouch, ouch!”

What’s the deep meaning of this?

“Ouch, ouch!”

That’s really all there is to the buddhadharma – not much at all.

Deshan was famous for his strong spirit, shouting and beating the delusion out of anyone who happened by. Here, though, life and death are giving him a beating. He’s gotten old and soft like an overripe persimmon ready to go “Splat!”

Reminds me of the long-ripe and soft-spoken Myogen Steve Stucky. Here’s his death poem -

DEATH POEM

This human body truly is the entire cosmos
Each breath of mine, is equally one of yours, my darling
This tender abiding in “my” life
Is the fierce glowing fire of inner earth
Linking with all pre-phenomena
Flashing to the distant horizon
From “right here now” to “just this”
Now the horizon itself
Drops away—
Bodhi!
Svaha.

Myogen
12/27/13

Myogen gives away his lineage secrets. Bodhi! Svaha.

What about for Deshan?

Ouch, ouch!

After the encounter with the monk, Deshan said, “You lay your hands on the sky and chase after echoes, exhausting your mind and body. You wake up from the dream and realize it was not. In the end what is there to do?”

The text says, “Once [Deshan] was done talking he sat peacefully and passed away.”

Splat!

What is there to do? Just live. Just die.

“Ouch, ouch!”

Keep Me in Your Heart a While: The Haunting Zen of Dainin Katagiri

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Bell at Bodhi Manda Zen Center. Photo by Peter Burr via Flickr under a CC-BY license.

Since writing “Everybody Knows” in November 2012, I have been following the responses of Joshu Sasaki, the Rinzai–ji Oshos, the Rinzai-ji organization, the involvement of An Olive Branch (AOB) in the discernment and healing process, as well as trying to address the concerns and advocate for people who have been affected and who have reached out to me with questions. I recently began participating in the conversation with other Zen teachers in the American Zen Teachers Association, and have had the opportunity to ask questions and to share information with the Sangha at large there.

For me, the single most disturbing fact that these recent documents reveal is that in spite of all of the public outcry, in spite of the Rinzai-ji organization publicly acknowledging the veracity of Joshu Sasaki’s misconduct, and in spite of assurances that Sasaki Roshi is not teaching anymore…

It is our deepest and sincerest intention that in directly addressing the issue here, we can begin to contribute in some small way to the larger discussion in American Buddhism about how to manifest the dharma without deceit, dysfunction, unhealthy power imbalances, inappropriate sexual relationships, and, ultimately, the heartbreak that results from all of the above.

…Joshu Sasaki, at present, is still absolutely in command of Rinzai-ji. In a document recently posted to the sasakiarchive.com, dated October 18, 2013, Sasaki unequivocally declares that:

“I will remain as the spiritual head of the Rinzai-ji temples until the succeeding Zen Master can be confirmed, and I will remain as the Chief Abbot of Rinzai-ji and Abbot of the main Zen Training Centers, until the directives below are fully implemented.

It now seems that Eshin Godfrey, who was appointed “Abbot designate” effective July 21, 2013 http://sweepingzen.com/eshin-godfrey-to-be-abbot-of-rinza-ji/ , had by October become “Administrative Abbot”, presumably charged with administrating the execution and implementation of the rather long list of Joshu Sasaki’s edicts. By November 30, Eshin had posted on his website that he had resigned his role as “Administrative Abbot”, and would be returning to Vancouver permanently in January 2014. Eshin writes:

At Rinzai-ji I found circumstances limited for what I could offer. There were difficulties in moving on a permanent basis. Visa, health, and marriage among them.

Eshin has always been very diplomatic, but my personal suspicion is that he didn’t want to be responsible or known for directly supporting Sasaki’s leadership. I should add a disclaimer stating that this is only my opinion.

No matter, it seems clear that there are several Oshos, clergy, board directors, and members who are more than willing to rally around Joshu Sasaki and follow his command.

Bodhi Manda Zen Center at night. Photo by Peter Burr via Flickr under a CC-BY license.

It would be very easy for myself or anyone else to get lost in the whys and wherefores of all of this information. I have already commented on my feelings about the inadequacies of the process and relationship that An Olive Branch and Rinzai-ji have established.

All of this, however, is made insignificant by the reality that Joshu Sasaki immediately and easily reestablished control of Rinzai-ji (if his power had ever actually been compromised), and that he is currently engaged in centralizing power, information, and resources around himself at Rinzai-ji.

This has been going on since October at the latest, and there hasn’t been a peep, nor a single flag raised, by anyone.

There hasn’t been a whiff within the AZTA, not publicly, and nothing from Kyoki Roberts and An Olive Branch. Even after I began asking direct questions within the AZTA, Eshin’s response was basically that there is “nothing to see here”.

Joshu Sasaki continues to be sheltered and enabled by the members, directors, and clergy of the Rinzai-ji organization, and through them he continues to abuse, isolate, and dislocate anyone he considers disloyal or disobedient.

I hope that all members, clergy, and board members who are still involved with Rinzai-ji understand that nobody is safe in Rinzai-ji as long as Joshu Sasaki is in command. What is happening to Hosen, who has been absolutely loyal and dedicated, and who has given more than 30 years of her life to Sasaki and Rinzai-ji (including enabling much of the abuse herself), can certainly happen to anyone. By continuing to support and obey Sasaki’s “directives”, anyone still involved in the organization is directly responsible for the suffering that continues to be caused by Sasaki and Rinzai-ji.

All I can do is continue to shine a light on this, and I will do so. If you have information about what is happening within Rinzai-ji, I encourage you to make it public. It seems clear that Rinzai-ji is absolutely committed to operating in the shadows. Please send your information to sasaki.archive@gmail.com, or you can contact me directly.

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In Washington State we have several interfaith organizations, the one I spend the most time with is a relatively new group called the Faith Action Network (FAN): http://www.fanwa.org.  Each year this group puts forth a legislative agenda that we hope will make some progress in the WA State Legislature.

This past Monday I traveled from Seattle to the State Capital, Olympia, to meet with our newly elected Governor Jay Inslee and other members of the FAN Interfaith Leadership Council.  At the meeting, Co-Director Rev. Paul Benz, an ordained minister of the Evangelical Lutheran Church, put forth our agenda to the Governor.  The agenda included our initiative efforts to reduce gun violence (universal background checks), our support of legislation to prevent wage theft, eliminate tax exemptions, preserve and increase the State’s safety net for those most disenfranchised, expand educational opportunities (DREAM Act) and the abolishment of the Death Penalty.

I was pleased that at the meeting Governor Inslee specifically asked us to comment on our position on the Death Penalty.  I was happy to share my thoughts with him that the State is only deepening the collective negative karma that we humans share when we execute someone.  In addition, I said that from a Buddhist perspective, cutting someone’s life short only transfers and amplifies their negative karma to the society at large.  The best thing for someone who has committed a heinous crime is to live as long as possible to have every opportunity to work on his or her karma in this lifetime.  When the State kills someone, we take on their karmic baggage, which only intensifies our collective folly and misery.

Moreover, I followed up with some additional comments:

1) There will always remain a significant risk of executing an innocent person.

2) The Death Penalty has not been fairly or equally applied, efforts to fix the system in WA have made it more complex, not fairer.

3) The complicated process has drained our steadily diminishing financial resources.

4) The Death Penalty process adds to the trauma of victims’ families, as they must relive the horrors they have faced each step of the way for years, while the process runs its course.

It is my hope the Governor will encourage a bill to abolish the death penalty to at least get a hearing before the WA House Judiciary Committee.   If the opportunity arose, I will be making another trip to Olympia to testify on behalf of this legislation.  I’ve asked Governor Inslee if he would sign such legislation if it came before his desk. The bills for the 2013/2014 WA legislative session are SB 5372 and HB 1504.  He has yet to respond in a formal way, but I believe he is leaning in this direction.

If you are reading this in WA please consider supporting FAN and the Washington Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty (http://abolishdeathpenalty.org).  If you are reading this and live elsewhere, I encourage you to find and support efforts to abolish the death penalty world wide.

With palms together,

Genjo

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How can we live meaningful lives today so that when death comes we might reflect that we did indeed live life to the full? Jesus is said to have expressed the purpose of his ministry in this way.

How can we live meaningful lives today so that when death comes we will rest knowing that we did what was to be done? Buddha is said to have often framed the work of the dharma practitioner in this way.

Yes, death will come.

A Zen student who works as an emergency room doctor told me recently that he had seen many people die and turning to his upcoming death and mine, he said, “One thing I’m quite sure about – it’s gonna hurt.”

This planet is very skilled at churning up and transforming everything.

Walking with dog Bodhi in the woods near our house, I’m aware that we walk on and with and as eons of hurt and joy, living and dying.

Yet, there’s hardly a noticeable trace to show for all this wildness but a clump of dirt and some life form quietly waiting in the deep winter darkness and cold for the warmth of the far-off star we call the sun.

Our species and all those near to us – from the Neanderthals to the Denisovans to those yet unnamed – for all our struggles and travels, adaptations and stories, we leave a small part of a child’s forefinger. Or a single bit of a jaw bone. A partial strand of genetic code. A word passed from mouth to mouth, morphing through the generations. A tiny contribution selflessly offered to what is to come.

Reaching back – or forward – groping for a pillow in the dark.

So, dear reader, how will you live today?

I suggest finding the razor’s edge of your practice and sitting upright just as that. There’s no time to be timid about it. It is passing so quickly.

Here’s a poem from last week’s “Writer’s Almanac:”

Why were the dead so timid while
they lived? In mind, they step in

groans; toes en pointe to test the sand.
Despite traversing seas and rushing

gold—they still seem cautious
to a madness. Why did they not act

more like us? I kid. Still, why were
the dead so timid while they lived?

Keep Me in Your Heart a While: The Haunting Zen of Dainin Katagiri

The post When Death Comes and How to Live Today appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

“In a certain sense, you could say that Buddha was homeless. He made a home wherever he went. He and his disciples were itinerants, each possessing nothing but a robe and a bowl to beg for meals along the way. In some Buddhist countries today, this practice has been ritualized into a monastic tradition. Monks pass through the monastery gates each morning and into the “real” world where strangers fill their bowls with offerings. The lesson is not one of poverty or humility. The purpose is not to instill charity or even gratitude. Buddhist rituals have no secret or special meaning, except to point directly to the true nature of our minds.

Each of us walks along a path with no sign of where we’ve been, and no knowledge of where we’ll end up. The earth rises to meet the soles of our feet, and out of nowhere comes a gift to support and sustain our awareness, which is our life. Some days the gift is a bite, and some days it’s a banquet. Either way, it’s enough.” — from Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden (May 2014)

Meet me for a weekend of practice in Loveland, Ohio March 27-30.

The post a bite or a banquet appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

In 1982, I was one of a small group of Zen students who were invited to an audience with Nichidatsu Fujii. Guruji, as he was affectionately known, was making a short visit to Los Angeles on his way back to Japan following that spring’s historic nuclear disarmament activities in New York, which he and his order had devoted themselves to for at least a year prior to the actual events. He had given a two-hour lecture in a house in South Central, sitting raised up in a chair by the front window of a large living room packed mainly with what might well have been the greater part of all the Nipponzan Myohoji monks and nuns in the world. At the conclusion of the lecture, one of the monks, apparently sent by Guruji from an adjoining room where he was resting, asked if we would like to meet him. We said we would of course be honored but, as he had obviously begun to weaken toward the end of the talk, we didn’t want to impose. The monk told us, in the best English he could muster, that Guruji wanted to meet us and would be disappointed if we declined the invitation. So that was that.

He was at the time ninety-eight years old, I believe. The coughing spells that had started near the end of the lecture made it hard for him to speak, but they did not deter him. Whenever a fit would make it impossible to go on, he would reach out and one of the monks would hand him a small medicine bottle, and he would take a swig of the remedy it contained and continue. It was clear that the weeks of travel, walking, chanting, lecturing, and so forth had left him depleted of normal energy, but something else–some mix of iron will and numinous force—kept him going, held him together in fact.

Over the years, it had, for some reason, been my good fortune to have met some of Buddhism’s most revered teachers, meditation masters from Zen, Tibetan, and Theravadin lineages. But I had never, nor have I since, been as riveted, as moved, or as just plain gobsmacked as I was by Nichidatsu Fujii. It was certainly not a matter of the content of what he said. Indeed, I found his dharma teaching so literalistic and parochial as to be quite ill-suited for contemporary life, at least, I thought, for all but a relatively small number of ardent disciples. His presence was the thing. The Lotus Sutra, the daimoku, the teachings of Nichiren, and all the virtues they carry—one sensed they had penetrated to the marrow of his bones, into his very molecules. And when, as we were about to leave, he picked up a drum and with a few wan strikes and in a hoarse whisper chanted Namu-myoho-renge-kyo several times, I had the feeling we were as much in the world of the Lotus Sutra as in Los Angeles, that he had, in those few moments, evoked the wholeness of that world in and as our sad and suffering saha city of angels.

I’ve never thought the way of Nichidatsu Fujii would have much direct bearing on my own life. But scarcely a week goes by when I don’t think of him. And for those who do follow his way, I feel only glad and grateful that, through the selflessness of their practice, the Lotus Sutra is made a living presence in our world. My life is so very different from theirs, yet in some way I can’t quite put a finger on, I feel a deep kinship with them. I suppose it’s just one of those “there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy” type things.

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One of the less pleasant aspects of becoming a public person, for me public person means being a Unitarian Universalist parish minister, a Zen Buddhist priest & meditation teacher, as well as something of a social activist, and a writer reflecting on these things from my pulpit and in other public venues, in books and on social media, is that people not only have opinions about me, but they say them out loud. And not just about what I think, but who I am, about me.

Turns out my skin isn’t very thick.

At various times people have opined in public that I misinterpret both Buddhism and Unitarian Universalism, that I’m a communist or a stalking horse for the capitalist system, sometimes for shadowy motivations, sometimes just because I’m not all that bright, others have opined that I’m dangerous to the commonweal, which okay, I kind of like, or that I’m in fact pretty shallow offering shallow shallowness to the masses, which cuts more than I would ever have thought…

But, there’s something else going on beyond self-aggrandizing and being poked and swatted in a great mix of just and unjust.

I’ve often spoken in UU circles about how while we are non-creedal, have no test of belief for coming together, we are covenantal, that is we have an agreement, which is our presence to each other. By being public in that sense, by bringing myself into presence, it just isn’t going to all be beer and skittles. We bump up against each other. We agree sometimes, and often we don’t. We are like a bunch of potatoes who’ve agreed to be thrown into a great burlap bag together, a bag that is then shaken. Our skin and bumps begin to be worn away.

And something is revealed.

I’ve found this larger public life has similar qualities. I try not to get caught by the more bizarre statements, although getting caught by anything shows things, so, just or not, I do try to hear what people say. Bump. rub. Polish.

And, I hope, it becomes part of the larger practice of noticing.

Paying attention.

Becoming.

It is a bit of a spiritual practice. Or can be. With emphasis on bit. We need more, I need more for a complete life. But it has value. I really think it does.

And, so, what for you? What does this little reflection hold for you, dear reader?

Well…

Of course you can join a UU congregation and get a bit of this yourself. Could be a good thing. Or, and, you could dance out to the edge a little in your life as it is, speak out a little, with some sense of kindness, with some hesitation (the rule of thumb I try to follow is not to joke about people with less power than me, and to be aware of how much power I have), and with that to pay attention…

Who knows what’s under the skin, what might be revealed…

The post Going Public: A Meditation on Public Life as a Bit of a Spiritual Practice appeared first on Sweeping Zen.

Ever since I began teaching I’ve regularly returned to the subject of fear. Why? Because fear is what drives much of our behavior, and at the same time it is the one thing that we least want to feel. I remember when I first started my spiritual journey I had the strong expectation that practice would free me from anxiety and fear. I thought that if I studied and meditated, and struggled to change my behaviors, I could replace the undesirable parts of myself with a new, improved version of me—one that was free of anxiety.

So from the very beginning of my practice I decided to confront my fears directly whenever they arose, thereby hoping to amputate them. For example, I’d wear clothes that didn’t look good to confront my fear of disapproval. Or I’d force myself to speak publicly even though I had a strong fear of public humiliation.

After doing these tasks it got increasingly easier, and I actually thought I had overcome my fear. But in truth, it was like cutting off a weed; the fear was temporarily removed, but because I had not gone to the root, it eventually returned. These examples illustrate two of the classic misconceptions about dealing with anxiety and fear. The first is seeing fear as the enemy, a flaw, a weakness, within myself that I have to conquer. The second is believing that if I confront my fears and go against them, they’ll go away permanently.

It’s understandable that we would hold onto these misconceptions, because we have so much aversion to feeling the discomfort of fear, and we’ll do almost anything to avoid it and get rid of it. Yet, it’s also a fact that whenever we don’t address our fear, we make it more solid, and consequently, our life becomes smaller, more limited, more contracted. In a way, every time we give in to fear, we cease to live genuinely.

But there’s an alternative way to live—one that is no longer driven by fear. In fact, the essence of living authentically starts when we learn to relate to our fears in a new way. Instead of seeing fear as our enemy, we can begin to see fear as a wake-up, a signal. This makes each occurrence of fear an opportunity to see exactly where we’re stuck, where we’re holding ourselves back, where we can open to life. What we have to understand is that fear is the protective cocoon of ego telling us to stop. It tells us to not go beyond the outer edge of our cocoon. But the direction of our path is to move directly toward our fears, for only in this way can we go beyond fear’s cocoon. While we may not like it, fear can be our best indicator that we’re going in the right direction. In fact, whatever we can’t say Yes to is the exact direction of our path.

What does it actually mean to say Yes to our fear? It means we’re willing to open to it and embrace it as our path to freedom. Saying Yes doesn’t mean we like it—it simply means we’re willing to feel what it really is. Saying Yes to fear is the opposite of what we usually do, which is to run away from it. Yet, when we stop resisting what is, and over time develop the genuine curiosity to know what’s really going on, it’s possible to begin to see our experience of fear almost as an adventure instead of as a nightmare.

To know what fear really is, whenever it arises we ask the question, “What is this?” We’re not asking why we have it or analyzing it—we’re essentially asking, “What is this moment?” To answer, we simply have to look at two things: the fearful thoughts, and the physical sensations of fear. The practice is to pause, allow ourselves to observe the thoughts racing through the mind, and then feel the physical sensations throughout the body.

When we say Yes to fear, even though we may feel terror, we can begin to see there is no real physical danger. We no longer need to panic, or try to push it away. As we let it in, we’re giving up our fear of fear. We may think we can’t stand to feel it, but the truth is we just don’t want to. Saying Yes to fear is the countermeasure to this resistance; it’s the courage to willingly stay present with it.

A few weeks ago I received a call from my doctor telling me there were signs of a cancerous tumor in my kidney. After my initial shock, I thought of how many times I’ve said that we’re all just one doctor’s visit away from falling through the thin ice. And fall I did—right into the icy water! But fairly quickly I remembered to say Yes to the arising fears, even while my mind tried to weave the dark and grim story of “Me and My Cancer,”—with the corresponding closing down in the body.

Saying Yes has allowed me to turn away from the story of doom, and instead turn toward the understanding that regardless of what might happen, this will be my path to living truly authentically. In a way, I actually look forward to being pushed to work with my deepest attachments—to comfort, to control, to my body, to my future. Saying Yes means that my aspiration to live my life authentically is more important than indulging the story of doom and fear. Remarkably, the episode of falling through the thin ice was very short. It isn’t that all the fear is gone; in truth, there is still anxiety about what will happen. But it doesn’t predominate, and I’m able to see it and relate to it as simply a conditioned response to perceived danger.

I mentioned that in my early years in practice I had the expectation that practice could free me of fear altogether. Now, many years later, it’s clear to me that spiritual practice is not so much about being totally free from anxiety and fear as it is about not having to be free from them. There is a subtle but crucial difference between these two understandings. We no longer see ourselves as flawed or weak because we have fear—we’re able to see it as simply our all-too-human conditioning. We begin to realize that even our most unwanted emotions are simply part of the human condition; and moreover, that they don’t have to dominate us. The more deeply we understand what it means to say Yes, the less we feel the need to push away fear when it arises. Instead, we can see it and use it as a catalyst on our path. When we’re willing to experience our life—whatever it is—and not hide in safety and complacency, this is the essence of living most genuinely.

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